I celebrated my 40th birthday last week. Had a nice lunch with my cuz and her little boy. Then B (my hubby) took me out to see The Hunger Games (loved it!) and we ate a meal at our new favorite restaurant. Then over the weekend my oldest daughter V baked me a birthday cake and we had a nice bbq with the kids and my MIL. She bought me a Rachel Ray set of cookware and some retro aluminum tumblers that I adore. Lots of cards and facebook happy birthdays from friends and family as well.
I am ok with turning 40. I don’t know why that is the dreaded age. I don’t feel any different and I think I am at a much better place in my life.
The one down side is my sister didn’t even put up a Happy Birthday on facebook to me. That stings a bit. She didn’t wish me happy birthday last year either but I really thought things were better between us since the main stink of my not speaking to my Momster is over. Who knows why. Maybe she just forgot, maybe my Momster is making up more lies about me to her though what she could say since I haven’t spoken to her in two years I don’t know. I do know for sure that never stopped her from telling blatant lies in the past. Maybe my sister is mad at me about something but isn’t saying what that is. That would be pretty typical behavior for my family.
I know my Momster triangulates constantly. Creating arguments where there aren’t any between us all . Demanding family member be on her “side”. It is very difficult to explain to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. So I shouldn’t be surprised even though I dropped out of that drama two years ago that she would still be causing problems. I just get weary of the constant game even after I have cut Momster off. These are adults we are talking about. Why listen to someone who is a known liar? If someone has a problem with me I would much rather them just say it. Give me a chance to apoligize if I wronged them or at least understand why they are being so passive agressive.
I think my sister may partially blame me for the family breakup . If that is the true reason for this then I can’t do much about that. I did what was best for me and my family. I don’t have any problem saying why but I am not going to back down just so everyone else can remain in the abusive cycle without the boat rocking. What none of them seem to get is the damn boat was rocking all the time anyway. I guess if it’s a psychopath at the wheel then everyone just keeps their mouth shut and if anyone dares to cry “hey there is a crazy woman about to harm all of us, lets’ jump off here before she succeeds” the crier becomes the problem. But then I feel like I have always been the scapegoat for the family troubles. I don’t know if anything ever really changes in a dysfunctional family. So I apologize to you readers for sounding sour. I just wish things could be different.
This Easter weekend my family has plans for a little weekend getaway. Camping and exploring some new places. I will be glad to get away from it all with my kiddos and create some good memories. Have a great weekend readers!